![]() I can’t go home and cry and then feel better, because it’s not like there is something to cry about, or really anything to be sad about. ![]() I could be laughing and having a great time with my friends, which I often am because my friends are great, and yet in the back of my mind I feel more alone than ever and I just want to curl up into fetal position and cry. ![]() You know that feeling you have in your gut when you are about to and/or really need to cry. Like I said above I really think that both ways my depression hits me are pretty awful and I couldn’t say which is worse. But I don’t consider it step one in levels of horribleness. In some ways I consider this step one of when my depression spikes because it always seems to come first. Sometimes I don’t know which is worse, but I will try to explain both. There is the gut wrenching loneliness and near constant anxiety and then there is the checking out, the feeling nothing at all, the numbness. I can’t make anyone understand how it is for everyone, but I can tell you how it alters my life, and maybe that will help people understand how all-encompassing it really is.įor me there are two main ways that my depression manifests itself when it breaks through the barriers I have set with the help of years of therapy and medication. There is no one person, or one story, or one experience that can make someone universally understand truly how depression alters the lives of those of us who suffer from it. ![]() Depression is something that shows itself differently for everyone. ![]()
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